dont tell me im the one to blame|pallis

[HARLYN ISABELLE YOUNG]

Harlyn walked towards the pond, her arms wrapped around her middle, her guitar case thumping against her back. Her hunger was worse than it had been in months. It got like that whenever Harlyn forgot who she was; when she started to believe that she could be a normal human. It was just another benefit she received from her mom when she got knocked up by a vampire. Harlyn’s Converse slipped in the wet grass, causing her to slide and land flat on her butt. Her guitar case made the fall ten times more awkward then it had to be. She stood up and dusted herself off. Her head felt light, disconnected from her body. God, she hated this. Harlyn was always told that if she just drank some blood, even if it was a tiny bit, she could avoid this. But she wouldn’t. She refused. She would not lower herself to those leeches’ level (even if she was half leech).

She found a bench that had a good view of the pond. Her plan was to play her guitar until she forgot. She typically got lost in her music, a lot of times to the point where she had trouble telling the difference between her and her guitar. By the time Harlyn’s fingers were blistered, she’d completely forget her hunger…or at leastit enough would be buried deep enough inside of her that it wouldn’t bother her anymore. Harlyn opened her case, running her fingers over the strings of her guitar lovingly, like a mother might do to a child. Then she took the guitar out, the smooth wood feeling familiar and comfortable in her hands. She strummed a few notes and closed her eyes, a small smile slowly spreading across her lips. This, was pure bliss.

[PALLIS KLEISTHENES DUTTON]

Pallis slipped back into his human form mid-step. There was no use in frightening anyone who may be sitting around campus. Futilely he cursed his luck. The other shape shifters were more practical creatures, ones that blended into the environment or could be hidden easily like pumas or compact cheetahs. He on the other hand smashed through brush leaving tiger paws the size of a mans foot for the world to see. Apart from the problem of concealment none of the established shifters here seemed to have any respect despite his size and this left him with no territory to call his own. Not to mention scrapes and bruises when he wondered to far into a resident males territory. Pallis slipped a shirt over his head only to see it bloodstained as soon as he’d straightened it out. “You’ve got to be joking.” he hissed in exasperation then prodded his face until he found the almost completely healed gash on his right cheek. He used the neck of his shirt to wipe off the rest of the caked on blood then tried to get most of the twigs and leaves out of his hair. It was unconventional to keep his hair even as mildly long as his was but he didn’t feel comfortable in his human body any other way.

His sigh lingered in the air around him and before he knew where he was going his long strides led him towards the still distant sound of music. Pallis didn’t know where it was coming from until he was at the edge of the trees that lined the pond. He kept his steps quiet hoping to go unnoticed. He could see a girl sitting close to the cattail reeds of the shore holding a guitar like it was the one and only life line. Pallis tried circling the pond amongst the trees to get a better look at her but winced when a misstep snapped a twig underfoot. For a second his animalistic instinct told him to spring away in the opposite direction but with a second of rationalizing thought he stayed where he was hoping the little strummer girl hadn’t heard a thing. Breath held Pallis waited in the shadow of the trees.

[HARLYN ISABELLE YOUNG]

Harlyn felt herself getting sucked deeper into the music. In a few minutes, she’d be completely lost in her own little world, oblivious to anything and everything around her. Some might say that that was stupid, to let her guard down, especially considering some of the people she went to school with. But Harlyn didn't care; she never cared. When someone suggested something to her, she deliberately ignored it and did the opposite. It was just who she was. Harlyn's fingers slowed on her guitar, playing a quieter and slightly haunting melody. She was about to change the pace of her playing, readying herself to begin a new song, when she heard a twig snap. Her head snapped up out of instinct and she turned towards the woods, searching the shadows for something she knew wouldn’t be there. It’d be irrational to think that he’d be here. It’d be stupid for him to approach her on the school’s campus, but it was still a possibility. Harlyn really had no idea what type of person her biological father was. Was he cool and calculating, waiting for the correct time to strike? Was he insane and would impulsively come after her, no matter what the consequences were? Or did he even care? It's not like Harlyn could be completely sure that he'd come after her, or that he even knew she exsisted, but it'd be best to be on her guard.

Not seeing anything, Harlyn turned back to her guitar, but a sharp pain in her stomach kept her from playing. She doubled over, cradling her guitar and laying her forehead on the cool wood. It felt like her whole world was spinning around her. Harlyn stayed like that until the pain subsided and she felt like she could sit up without falling over. Her hunger had never gotten this bad before, but it wasn’t like it surprised Harlyn at all. She knew she couldn’t ignore that side of her, but she could still try.

She ran her fingers along the wood again, trying to get back into her zone, but it wasn’t working this time. Harlyn could feel her eye teeth ache. They were trying to act like fangs, but they were nothing more than human teeth. She ran her tongue over them anyway, just to be sure they were normal human length. Every muscle and fiber in her body ached for blood, urging her to go and feed. Harlyn carefully laid her guitar back in its case and closed the lid. She brought her feet up on the bench, grabbing the toes of her worn Converse and burying her face in her knees. If she just held out long enough, it’d go away. Harlyn rocked herself slightly, humming a lullaby she had heard somewhere in an attempt to distract herself. To a normal stranger walking by, Harlyn would seem like she was mentally ill, but it didn't matter. She'd much rather have someone think badly of her than the alternative, which was feeding on blood. Even the mere thought of it made part of her want to puke, but the other side was excited by the idea. Harlyn hated that repulsive half of her.

[PALLIS KLEISTHENES DUTTON]

The girl had heard the snap of the twig, he knew it. But soon after she seemed to feel sick, doubling over like she was about to hurl the days meal. Pallis carefully extricated his foot from that murderous twig. He continued his wide arc until he was right in front of the girl still invisible. If she bothered to look again though, she would probably be able to see the glow of his blue eyes depending on her race or power. Pallis sniffed the air, his nostrils flared. She smelled faintly of vampire. At least that’s what he guessed, the few other vampires he knew smelled this way but much stronger. It unnerved Pallis that the scent was so faint. It was as if she wasn’t a vampire but had merely had close contact with one recently. Then, that didn’t explain why she had doubled over suddenly at his presence. After all there was blood smeared all across his face and shirt. From what he knew of vampires a hungry one wouldn’t have sat around like that at the scent of freshly spilled blood but this school wasn’t exactly something that really made sense all the time now was it?
 
Pallis was just turning to leave when he heard the faint twinge of wood as the guitar was set back in its place. He stared over his shoulder for one last look and saw her sitting on the floor close to a fetal position. He wasn’t usually one to care and his good graces were absent in that particular moment but in a way he was reminded of the time when no one was there to help him. He growled silently under his breath trying to make up his mind. If she was a vampire he’d put himself in danger by getting any closer to her, in hindsight she would have tried to take him by now if she wanted to. Pallis growled at himself again clenching his teeth together before walking out of cover, closer to the girl.

When he reached her she still didn’t seem to notice, he guessed that was how bad her pain was. Pallis reached out to touch her shoulder, let her know he was there to help but he picked up her guitar instead. He down tuned the guitar to his liking then played an aching melody. He was going to leave it without the words but the song didn’t mean the same thing without them so he just went ahead with the words to “The Morticians Daughter” “I open my lungs dear/I sing this song at funerals no rush/these lyrics heard a thousand times just plush/A baby boy you've held so tightly, this pain it visits almost nightly/Missing hotel beds I feel your touch.” Pallis was almost sure this girl would think strangely of him. Who just picked up a guitar and started singing stuff like this to a complete stranger? He wasn’t really doing it for her though, it was more for himself. It had been a long time since he’d been in contact with any musical instrument and if in the process she felt better than so be it. His deep voice crooned the words carefully as if it were the only way air would be allowed to circulate through his lungs. "I will await dear/A patient of eternity, my crush/A universal still, No rust/No dust will ever grow on this frame/One million years I will say your name/I love you more than I can ever scream." Pallis was losing himself, forgetting the reason he’d picked up the guitar in the first place.

[Credit to the always awesome Black Veil Brides for making the song Pallis is currently covering]

[HARLYN ISABELLE YOUNG]

Harlyn heard someone walking towards her, the soft footsteps echoing through her aching mind. She didn’t want to have to deal with someone, not right now. If it was someone trying to show concern, it’d be fake, a common courtesy one felt compelled to do. If it was one of the other vampires, it’d be to rub her sickness in her face, because guaranteed they knew why she was like this. It happened every single time. The darker ones, the ones who accepted who they were, embraced it, and enjoyed it; they were the ones who liked to mock her for being weak. They always said that one day she was going to give in and drink blood, and wish that she was fully vampire. She knew that they’d enjoy it, which made Harlyn’s resolve stronger. Harlyn hoped that if she ignored whoever was there, they’d just leave her alone without a word.

And that was her plan, until she heard someone tuning her guitar. She tried to lift her head up and snap at that someone for touching her baby, but an overwhelming and dizzy smell assaulted her nose, causing her to feel more nauseous. She hated the smell of blood, especially like this. She couldn’t smell it the way full vampires did. No, they could smell a person from a good distance, and the person didn’t have to have a cut or anything. But for Harlyn, it only bothered her when someone was bleeding. And her vulnerable state made it worse. The vampire part of her was screaming for her to go straight for this food source, while the human part was holding her back, feeling disgusted. Harlyn had to get away, or whoever was standing near her was going to get hurt. Harlyn tried to scoot herself over, away from the bench, but it was no use; she was rooted to the spot. And slowly, her vampire side was reasoning with the other half. She only needed a tiny bit of blood, and this person was already injured. She wouldn’t half to hurt them. It’d be over before the person even knew what happened. It was starting to sound like a good idea. She could stop her suffering in just a few seconds. All she needed was a little.

But then, whoever had picked her guitar up had started to play an actual song. She was momentarily distracted, trying to place where she’d heard the melody before. Harlyn, hearing her guitar being played, had brought her back to her senses. She wasn’t going to give in. Years of hard work and self-control would just go down the drain. Then the person playing her guitar began to sing. Ok, so the guy playing her guitar began to sing. Even with the lyrics, she didn’t know what song it was, but she wished she did. It was beautiful. Harlyn turned her head, laying her cheek on her knees, so she could look up at this guy. The sun was bright, causing her to squint. He looked tall, but his height could be skewed from her viewpoint. He had blond hair that was on the longer side and artistic hands that moved expertly along the strings of the guitar. Harlyn’s attention was drawn to those hands. No one had ever played her guitar before, other than her. It had always felt wrong; the guitar was a part of her and letting someone else play it was unnatural. As she watched his hands though, it seemed right somehow. Her fingers looked clumsy compared to his. She was hit with a flash of jealousy, the worst of her sickness covered by that. “Where’d you learn to play like that?” she asked, wishing she had his talent. Her voice came out like a croak, sounding raw. She winced at the sound. Hopefully he had understood her.

[PALLIS KLEISTHENES DUTTON]

Pallis was immersing himself in the winding chords of the guitar. The only musical contact he’d had with music since arriving at this school was his iPod and with no computer or flash drive of his own the music had stayed the same for a good long time to the point where he was positive he’d learned how to play every chord in every second or every song of the eight gig hard drive just by ear. As if that alone wasn’t impressive enough he knew every lyric that went with them. Maybe it was music that he needed to unwind from all the stresses of a new school and things best forgotten. He couldn’t be sure but just being this close to a guitar was freeing him taking all thought further away than the slight breeze carried the sound of the strings he plucked. He was just about to start on the second half of the song when the girl spoke.

Everything he was playing, every thought that was flying out, ground to a stop. Pallis could practically hear the locomotive brakes squeal to a halt. He clenched his jaw then tried to remind himself that this wasn’t even his own guitar he looked down at her with an arched eyebrow and scoffed. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard, Caitlin” he randomly plucked strings to form unknown words but didn’t break into all out melody. “I guess I was bestowed with long fingers for a reason though. They do so help.” Pallis frowned at his fingers. The long deprivation of acceptable musical instruments had allowed his fingers to soften and that small bit of playing already left his fingertips bruised and aching. He took the pause to analyze this girl.

Her face was round with softened features that gave her a kind, slightly childish appearance. Her skin was pale creamy color like coffee with too much milk and creamer but even in the sun he could see that it had a strange glow to it like she was lit from behind even though the sun was at his own back. He was reminded of one of his favorite books in which faeries were described to have that kind of surreal glow with them but she was no part of the fair folk or the human race, this girl had a smell all her own and it still had his thoughts reeling in place. Briefly he thought of asking her exactly what he was but he didn’t now courtesies amongst non-human races. Was it rude to ask “what are you?” just like it was rude to ask a human their age?

‘This is why I don’t talk to people’ he thought to himself and shook his head. He either over thought his words too much or not enough and any human contact caused him discomfort anyway. Pallis said nothing else and looked to the trees he’d stepped out from only minutes before. The sudden discomfort he had in another’s presence made him want to shift. A dull ache formed in his long limbs as he tried to keep back change. He couldn’t run every time he had even the mildest of discomforts. Abel, the fellow shifter who had taken him in after the accident, had told him so and as much as Pallis hated to admit it the guy always seemed to be right. There was no way in hell he could change his form to keep from falling to pieces or else his animal form would one day fall to pieces too. Pallis had the sinking feeling, like so many other times, that he had been hopelessly misled into thinking he could have a normal life again. Quietly he set the guitar back down then paced from the case to the edge of the pond like the caged tiger he was.

[HARLYN ISABELLE YOUNG]

Harlyn stared up at the boy, trying to figure him out. It seemed like something was slightly off about him. But of course, it could have been her who was slightly off. These bloodlust periods always made things topsy-turvy for her. Down was up and up was down. It really wasn’t her place to judge anyone. If she had been a full vampire, Harlyn could probably smell what he was. She knew that vampires could. For a second, Harlyn wished she was a full vampire. She was a freak among freaks. She didn’t fit anywhere. Harlyn was too different from typical human beings; she ran faster, she healed quicker, and she had insane cravings for blood. And humans were afraid of things that were different from them, afraid of things not perceived as normal. That was the point of the academy, wasn't it? But she’d never truly be an equal to any of the students at the academy. She wasn’t extraordinary like everyone else. It was almost like Harlyn didn’t belong at all. She had some of both worlds, but it didn’t make her accepted in either. Harlyn quickly banished the feeling of wanting to fit in with everyone else here. She would never be able to stand herself if she was a full vampire anyway.

She didn’t understand the boy’s response to her question at first. It was strange and indirect, almost like a riddle. He used words that most their age would not use. Harlyn had to repeat the words in her head, trying to make sense of them. Instead, she got herself even more confused. But it didn’t matter. The guy was staring at her, almost as if he was trying to make sense of her. Harlyn, who was difficult to shut up, was totally speechless. It had nothing to do with the fact that a member of the opposite sex was staring at her. She wasn’t a completely boy crazed girl who melted if a guy so much as looked her way. No, what bothered her was the fact that he was trying to analyze her. No one ever did. They looked at her, found that she was different and either ignored her or magnified her differences. But no one had ever tried to figure her out, and it seemed like that was what he was doing. Harlyn was slightly unsettled by it and she fought the urge to fidget.

Finally, the guy walked away, towards the pond. He looked uncomfortable, like he didn’t belong in the human body he was in. It was like he was a child in an ill-fitting suit; staying in it because his parents made him, but the second he no longer needed to look formal, he’d be back in his regular clothes. That was what Harlyn imagined when she looked at this guy. He was pacing too, like he felt trapped. Harlyn wanted to go ask what was wrong, what was making him so upset, but she wasn’t sure if he’d accept it. From the impression she had got, this guy wasn’t very into talking to other people. Instead, Harlyn reached for her guitar, fingers curling so she could grab the neck of it. Just as she was about to take it out of the case, her mind registered something he had said. ‘Did he call me Caitlin?’ she thought. It really shouldn’t bother her that much. It was just a mix up of names; it wasn’t like he was even expected to know her name. But it bothered Harlyn all the same, like it was wrong to not correct him.

She placed her hands on the bench behind her and tried to use the bench as leverage for getting herself up. The world spun slightly and she shut her eyes, hoping that everything would be still once she opened them. Harlyn stood and took a few steps, the worn toe of her Converse catching on the ground and causing her to stumble. She caught herself before face-planting the grass and took a few more wobbly steps. Harlyn felt unstable, like the slightest breeze might knock her over. She could already feel herself getting better, her quick healing finally kicking in. Her head still felt light, like she might pass out at any moment, but that too should stop in a few minutes. Harlyn made her way towards the guy, stopping a few feet from him. She felt like she shouldn’t get to close to him. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him, but she also didn’t want to make him anymore uncomfortable than he already was. “The name’s Harlyn,” she corrected, already feeling like she was fixing the issue. Still, she wasn’t sure why she wanted him to know her real name. It didn’t mean anything, not in the long run, but she didn’t want him thinking that she was a Caitlin. "What's yours?"


OOC// In case some of this doesn't make sense, I apologize. It's been a long day for me and right now this all sounds right in my head, but a lot of it probably doesn't.

[PALLIS KLEISTHENES DUTTON]

Pallis finally stopped at the edge of the pond and looked out into the water. If swimming didn’t come instinctually to him he probably would have tried to drown himself by now but such slow, grueling suicide was impossible. When things messed with his thoughts to much the animal within him would take over and instinct of preservation would undoubtedly kick in. He realized not even a shot to the heart would work. Pallis had been hunted once before and even though he got a shotgun blast through his collarbone, he healed to fast. No, it would take a smashed in skull or snapped spine. He toed the water absently glad that he hadn’t brought along his shoes. Thinking of such horrible things always made his back ache as if a kitchen knife were being dragged across his back all over again. Pallis took another deep breath to calm himself again. It may be important to hide what he was from this girl, he wasn’t sure yet.

He heard her get up but no footsteps followed the attempt until a minute later. “The name’s Harlyn. What’s yours?” she asked. Her tone sounded confused. Despite himself Pallis chuckled. She must have thought Caitlin had been meant as a proper name. “Where I come from, cailin means girl. I just add a ‘t’ because it makes it sound English. Besides ‘t’ makes everything better and gave me something to call you in the meantime, Harlyn” He stressed emphasis on her name so that she’d realize it had stuck to him. As much as a person claimed to hate their name it still subconsciously pleased people when it was repeated to them at a first meeting. Exactly where he’d learned that he couldn’t remember but it did make sense.

Pallis took a few steps backwards then turned around almost knocking into Harlyn. She was closer than he had expected and he lost his balance for a second. But before he could fall flat on her he caught his balance back on the very tip of his toes like kinder garden children playing the step song. He leaned back and rocked on his heels. No one could feel good in such close proximity to someone. Pallis took two steps back. Harlyn looked a bit sick and disoriented but through all of it her eyes were bright, seemingly acutely aware of him. It didn’t make cause him the least bit of discomfort. What it did make him want to do was snarl, just to test the limit, see how far she could be pushed. He kept from doing so and instead decided on answering her other question.

“I’m not completely convinced you wont use my name maliciously but I do trust that if you do you’ll at least have a good excuse. Why anyone would care to know my name for well intentions is a mystery to me but it is Pallis. Dutton.” When Pallis realized his mind wasn’t clearing he reached into his back pocket and shook out a cigarette then lit up all in the same move. It helped with anxiety most times but not as well as alcohol did, after all it was psychologically proven to be a depressant. “Do with it what you may.” he added as an afterthought referring to his name. “Now,” he squatted on the ground trailing his free hand in the sparse mudded grass before loking up at her and taking a long drag. He would take a chance with this one. “if you don’t mind my asking that is. What are you exactly?” He could already tell his actions were causing Harlyn discomfort but whether it was his question, attitude, smoking, or a combination of all these things he couldn’t tell. Perhaps it was better to scare all company away from himself. If things kept snowballing downhill like this it wouldn’t be much longer before he’d decide to spend the rest of his days like he had the years wasted in a striped hide after leaving home.

OOC//I'm a little scatterbrained myself (as you can surely tell) but I think it compliments our characters confusion XD (That's me making excuses to justify myself)

[HARLYN ISABELLE YOUNG]

Harlyn had no idea what to make of this kid. Every time she said anything to him, he responded with these longwinded and usually confusing responses. Maybe it was just the fact that her mind was slow at the moment. By the time he finished speaking, Harlyn wasn’t even sure what she had asked and had to replay his words multiple times before she understood. At least, that was what Harlyn was going to blame it on. She felt like her head was stuffed with a billion cotton balls, like it was almost disconnected from the rest of her. It happened every single time after one of her sicknesses and she couldn’t stand it. She’d been told that a similar thing happened sometimes if you took a pain killer. But Harlyn hated the feeling all the same. She was frustrated, feeling like she was working slower than she should be. When the guy laughed at her, she could feel her cheeks color and she looked away at the ground, infinitely grateful that his back was still turned to her.

When he turned around though, Harlyn could tell she was making him uncomfortable. She shouldn’t have been standing so close to him; she knew that. But sometimes…sometimes she forgot understood laws like that. People didn’t like to have others in their personal bubbles. Maybe she’d be able to understand if she was completely human. Honestly though? Having someone that close never bothered her. All she had to do was mess this up too. Her day was going perfectly. Harlyn looked away from the guy, looking everywhere but at him. Normally, she wasn’t this awkward and shy. Scratch that; she was never this awkward and shy. Then again, she never tried talking to someone right after one of her episodes. Usually, she holed up somewhere for hours until she felt like herself again. Right now though, Harlyn felt out of place, even in her own skin. It was like she was wearing an itchy costume that was two sizes too small. She was so distracted by her own internal thoughts that she hadn’t realized the guy had started talking again. But she did catch his name at least. Pallis. It would’ve been weird for her to ask his name again, especially seeing as how she wanted to know his name in the first place.

“Pallis?” she asked, more to herself than to him. She was testing the name out, getting used to it. “I like it. It’s a nice name.” Harlyn wasn’t entirely that he heard her anyway though. He seemed intent on lighting his cigarette. Harlyn made a face; almost sure that he hadn’t seen her. She hated cigarette smoke. She always attributed it to a sensitive sense of smell. It wasn’t like she could sniff things out like a bloodhound or anything, but things always seemed a lot more intensified, which could be a positive or negative thing. In this case, cigarette smoke was a bad thing. Harlyn didn’t want to back up though, afraid of insulting Pallis.

“What are you exactly?” Pallis asked. ‘What am I?’ Harlyn thought, the words echoing multiple times in her mind until it almost sounded like a chorus. A sarcastic voice shot through the commotion in her head. ‘What exactly are you, anyway? Where do you fit in?’ Harlyn shook her head, trying to ignore the voices. She headed towards the pond, careful to keep a comfortable distance from Pallis just so he didn’t think she was trying to do anything to him. Harlyn bent down, digging through the pebbles until she found a couple smooth, flat gray stones. She skipped one, watching it skim the water surface five or six times before sinking into the depths of the water. She waited until all the ripples disappeared before skipping the next one, this one hitting the pond nine times. “You asked the million dollar question,” Harlyn replied without turning around. She skipped the next stone, this one only making it twice before sinking. She turned around to face Pallis, sticking her arms out parallel to the ground and executing a slow 360 turn. “What am I? I guess you could say a mess-up, an accident. I’m an unplanned human-vampire hybrid, getting the worse of both species.” Harlyn put on a weak smile, feeling like she was falling apart and about to cry. She typically got defensive, trying to not let anything bother her. But frankly, she was just too tired to even care at the moment. Besides, Pallis had just seen her at her worst. He might not have understood what was going on, but maybe he’d put two and two together. Because who really wanted to be around someone who couldn’t control themselves? If he was smart, he’d leave now and Harlyn wouldn’t blame him at all. She wouldn’t even feel insulted.

[PALLIS KLEISTHENES DUTTON]

So that’s what it had been. What had caused her such disturbance and probably still was, the blood he had dripped onto his shirt by accident. He absently swiped at the place where he’d been cut, not surprised that the spot was free of any blemish by now. Pallis saw the fleeting distaste on her expression at what he had to agree was a nasty habit of his but it didn’t really matter to him. He had to get his nerve endings burned out for news like this. Yet for her own sake (and many other reasons his mind couldnt make sense of) he snubbed the cherry of his cigarette out in between his own fingers, making sure it was completely extinguished before putting it back in the pack to throw away later. Hearing Harlyn say she was of such rare a species wasn’t really what unsettled him. It was the way she said it, the way she looked afterwards as if she’d just confessed to a sin punishable by death. He never really thought he’d meet someone who hated being in their own skin as much as he did.

Despite the hatred he had fro the animal in him he couldn’t help but run to it whenever he couldn’t cope with something. As dangerous and feral as he was donning fur and claws meant he could forget everything and run on instinct alone. Harlyn however, didn’t really have that choice did she? All she could do was hope was that the hunger would go away before she hurt someone, assuming she didn’t want to that is. Pallis dismissed the idea of Harlyn ever hurting anyone with one quick glance. You could practically see innocence written on her forehead and if she were the type to let in to her hungers Pallis himself would have been the perfect opportunity to sate her thirst.

Quietly Pallis got up and went back to the ponds edge before squatting down again and stripping off his shirt baring his back and all its horrors to the world. Pallis tried not to think about it, it was to late to cover the gutsy move now anyway. That which he usually tried to conceal was now plainly displayed. Wordlessly he submerged his shirt in the murky water and scrubbed the fabric together between his fists. No use in tempting her more, if it was still bothering Harlyn’s hunger. Pallis pulled the shirt out of the water and wiped his face with it to get rid of any other trace then rinsed it out again. “Nothing is a mistake. And what you’re given is what you make of it.” he said as he scrubbed his shirt. “It took me a long time to realize it but that’s the way it is. Or at least what keeps me going. he whispered his last comment.

He was silent then working through the fabric with such fervor that the currents he caused with his thrashing sent swirls of mud, dust and leaves into the already murky water. Pallis stopped when he was satisfied every last drop of him was gone from the cotton then wrung the shirt until his hands palms went raw with the friction. It was still to wet to wear but he at least hoped it wouldn't be a problem anymore.

Without really meaning too Pallis put it over his head anyway, worrying now about what he'd done in a way he hadn't thought of before taking his shirt off. His own past was traced in white ragged lines all across his back. Each scar a sign of how terrified his parents had been of him, how many times they had tried to bleed the evil out of him. Every single time they had shown him that he was a mistake. One they wished they could get rid of. Even though people were usually to shy to ask about it he had a feeling Harlyn wouldn't be, and unlike others who had dared, Pallis wouldn't be able to find it in himself to react to her as he had to the others. All snarls and fists. This meeting, this girl was making everything he did and thought into a convoluted mess.

[HARLYN ISABELLE YOUNG]

Harlyn watched as Pallis squeezed the lit end of his cigarette between his fingers, smothering it until it lost its glow. She realized that he had seen her look of disgust when he light it early and felt bad that he had to put it out. Who knew why he started smoking, but whatever the reason, it probably made him feel more comfortable in an awkward situation. Secretly though, Harlyn was glad that he had. She wasn’t sure how long she could stand smoke like that; she had never tried before. When people lit a cigarette, Harlyn walked away. But there was something fascinating about Pallis that was holding her in place and she wasn’t going to let an annoyance like smoke drive her away.

Pallis started to come towards Harlyn, towards the edge of the lake. She turned, wondering what he was doing. Without warning, Pallis whipped off his shirt, revealing the bare skin underneath. Harlyn’s hand flew to cover her mouth. She wasn’t squeamish, but surprised. People typically didn’t have scars like that on their back. Sure, maybe one or two from injuries or surgeries or something, but not like Pallis’s. There were so many scars and very few seemed like they healed properly. Many were raised and startling white compared to the rest of his skin. Resentment swelled in Harlyn suddenly and she balled her hands into fists, digging her nails into her palm. She was angry at whoever had done this to Pallis. She barely knew him, but it wasn’t right to do this to people. It didn’t make sense, how some people could be so horrible to others. Harlyn took a step forward, one of her fists uncurling. She wanted to comfort him somehow, but she didn’t even know how to attempt that. Instead, she took a step back and curled her hand back up and stepped away, choosing to concentrate on Pallis washing his shirt instead.

It looked like he was trying to scrub something out of it. Harlyn wasn't sure what he was trying to get rid of, but then remembered the splash of red on his otherwise clean shirt. Was he washing out it because he thought it bothered her, or because it bothered him? “Nothing is a mistake,” Pallis said as he cleaned his shirt. He said something else, but Harlyn didn’t catch all of it, just the beginning of his statement and the end. The muscles in Pallis’s back and shoulders rippled. Harlyn waited for him to say something else, do something else, but he didn’t. The water sloshed from the force Pallis was putting into cleaning his shirt. Harlyn wondered if she should respond to what he said, or if he was even expecting a response. She wanted to say that of course there were mistakes. If Harlyn’s mom had had a choice between having her the way she was or not having her at all, she’d choose not having her at all. It was they way things were. But at least her mom would never intentionally hurt her for being who she was. She dealt with Harlyn in the best way she knew how. For Pallis though, someone had tortured him. She didn’t know why, but someone had. Harlyn really had no right to argue that she was in fact a mistake, not know at least. She wanted to ask who had done that to him, who could be such a monster. To her, it wasn’t even possible that such people existed, that they could be alive and walking around on earth, but it obviously happened. Just the thought of it made her sick to her stomach. Harlyn moved, trying to angle herself so she’d be as close to face to face as possible with Pallis while he was still crouched on the edge of the lake. It felt cowardly for her to ask something like that without even facing him.

Harlyn was about to ask what had happened, until Pallis pulled on his soaking wet shirt and something broke inside of her. He looked so…haunted and lonely, and almost slightly pitiful. Her heart went out to Pallis and she got the sudden urge to hug him. She felt like such a bold action might be unwelcomed and instead squeezed her fists harder, her knuckles going white and beginning to ache while deep, red half moons formed on her palms. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, hiding her fists because she didn’t trust herself. “Pallis?” Harlyn asked, hoping she had his attention. “Pallis, what happened to you?”